The Opposition

I have this client that I see every four weeks. She's a nice enough lady, but a little too self absorbed for my liking. One of those people who acts interested, but once you start answering her questions, you quickly realize that she doesn't really care.

Once she found out I was planning to homeschool, every visit turned into a discussion about homeschooling. She's always the voice of dissent. She's absolutely astonished that people actually homeschool. It's not just something you hear about on the news, or see in a 

movie. *gasp*. She's a university graduate herself, with two grown daughters who are graduates as well. Her oldest daughter is a high school history teacher. She, and both of her daughters were very active in school, and went on to join sororities in college. She's very traditional, in the sense of what is "the norm". We've discussed the social aspect of homeschooling more times than I can count. She's convinced that homeschooled kids don't really get proper social stimulation. If only I had a dollar for every time I've had this conversation with people.

Today she came in as usual, for a shampoo and haircut. Naturally, she asked how homeschooling was going. I told her that since we are in summer break, I was creating my lesson plans, while Kai was enjoying the last bit of vacation. I went on to tell her that I was excited about the upcoming year, because I will no longer be using the K-12 curriculum. I went on to explain that it just wasn't a good fit for either of us, so I decided to change it up. I want to go with the Montessori philosophy of focusing on Kai's strengths. He LOVES Science and Math. Good Eats is one of his favorite shows on TV, so, when we were in Oregon, I picked up this book called The Science Chef. There are 100 experiments that revolve around cooking and baking. This will not only instill a great life lesson (cooking), but it will also teach Kai about fractions. This is highly encouraged within the Waldorf method of teaching...something else I'm very fond of. I was gushing to her about a book I bought called The Wise Enchanter. It's a journey through the alphabet, using folk lore. Each letter has a story. Along with a story a day, I will have Kai do a form drawing of the letter...this is also a Waldorf method. This will be part of his Language Arts, and handwriting. Then this is the most exciting part...I have a book called Little Big Minds. It's a book about how to share philosophy with children. I picked it up last year, and have been counting the days to when I will put this book to use. I am replacing History with this book, and calling it Social Studies. I will be touching on the philosophical topics such as justice, compassion, freedom, humanity, and courage...just to name a few. 

....and this is where I get to the point in this post. When I told her that I wasn't going to be really focusing on actual history this year, she snapped her neck around in shock. "Well, you DO have standards you have to meet, don't you? I mean, he needs to know these things!" I took a deep breath, to clear my head before I spoke. I politely  said, "No, he doesn't NEED to know about the Civil War at the age of 6. It's not important to know who our 16th president was, at 6 years old. There is no lesson in that information. It doesn't help his development right now. There is plenty of time for him to learn that, in the future." Without skipping a beat, she says, "Well, don't you have to answer to somebody? I mean, anybody can say that their child isn't ready to learn a subject, and not teach  them...then what good does that do the child?" Before I go on...I realize that there are some weird people out there that would actually do something like that. However, that represents a very small fraction of the homeschooling community. She continues on to say, "...He needs to know these things to survive and get by in everyday life." Now, I will agree with anybody, that History is a wonderful thing to know. It's enriching in so many ways. In all honesty though, I don't find it to be essential for day to day survival. As snarky and condescending as I wanted to be, I refrained. I will share with you, what I shared with her.

From the moment our children are born, they are dependent on us. Dependent on us to meet every little need they have. We, the parents, are their first and most important teachers. As they grow, we learn to read their cues and translate their language. We teach them how to walk, how to talk, and how to use the potty. We encourage their growth through family interaction, play dates with friends, and one on one time. The things we do and the things we say, impacts every fiber of their being. I believe that the most important years for social development, are happening right now. Knowing the name of the ship that brought the Colonists over from Europe, is the last thing on my list of important things my son needs to know. Friendship, responsibility, happiness, courage, freedom and justice. These are all things that my child NEEDS to begin to learn about. Now is the time to help him examine these subjects, and learn how to put them into action in his own life. These are subjects that will help him build character, and understanding. These issues impact him as a person, and will do so for the rest of his life. Having a solid understanding of responsibility, I would say, is a quality that will impact him in day to day life.  It will impact his survival. So, as far as standards go, I leave that up to the public schools. I know my child best. I know what his needs are. I know what I believe is important in life. I don't need a person, or any educational authority, to validate my worth as a teacher. It is my job as a parent, to make sure my children are prepared for life, once they leave the nest. Every parent chooses to prepare their children, however they see fit. I hope for my children to be self sufficient, independent, educated, confident, and eager to live life.

After all of that, she turns to me and says, "Well, I can understand where you're coming from, but I just think that children need to know the standards."

So, you win some, you lose some. I know that homeschooling isn't for everybody, just as public school isn't for everybody, and neither is private school. I for one, am grateful that we all have a choice.